//NLP Rapport

 

What Rapport in NLP?

A dictionary definition of rapport is:

 

                                         "a good understanding of someone and an ability to communicate well with them"

 

We build rapport to gain unconscious communication both with others and ourselves so we can communicate our thoughts and ideas better. 

 

Communication

Only 7% of any communication is done through words. 38% of what we communicate is done through the tone of voice we use and a huge 55% is through our physiology.  When we combine all three we create better rapport. 

 

How do we create rapport?

The easiest way to create and build rapport is to match and mirror the three elements of communication we just mentioned.  So, matching physiology includes posture, gestures, breathing and facial expressions.  Tonality includes the pitch and speed of void as well as the quality and volume.  And finally the words such as key words or phrases, level of detail and predicates. 

 

In NLP rapport comes before anything else

In order to do any technique in nlp there must be rapport.  This means rapport between the client and the nlp practitioner as well as rapport within the individuals.  If there is no rapport there is no point pursuing any techniques!

 

Techniques for building rapport in NLP

There are many ways of creating rapport.  Ideally you want to create rapport in as many of the representational systems as possible. 

In gaining rapport you will gain a better understanding of other people's maps of the world.  What you wish to communicate will be better understood and more trust will be established.

The easiest way to build rapport is to act like the other person.  By matching and mirroring them we become more like them and therefore more liked by them.

 

Matching and Mirroring

Matching is doing the same as the person.

For example: they hold up their left hand and you hold up your left hand

 

Mirroring is when you act as though you are looking in a mirror. 

For example: they hold up their left hand and you hold up your right hand

 

Cross Over Matching is when you use more subtle techniques to match. 

For example: they tap their hand and you tap your foot

 

Agreeing and Not Agreeing

You can be in rapport and not agree with the content of the conversation

You can be in total agreement but have no rapport

 

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You may also be interested in the following areas of nlp information:

NLP - an explanation

Learn NLP - how to choose an nlp course

NLP glossary - a guide to nlp terminology